by Gabrielle Bradley
I remember as a young child, when I would get into numerous of arguments with my mother. I lived with both my father and mother but my relationship with my mother was not where it should have been. I was very disrespectful and I thought my mother did not love me. I thought that if my mother did love me she “would let me make my own decisions”. As I matured I began to realize how valuable my parents were. However, there were some problems I had to work out with my mother. Many emotions and feelings were brought up and we began to recognize that our relationship was torn. After understanding each other’s faults, recognizing that we needed improvement, and asking for forgiveness from each other, we started a new relationship.
Who is involved?
We always tend to ignore the other perspective when we want our plan done. However, many times we get into an argument that, somehow, seems to grow bigger than ourselves. Our feelings and desires are crushed or we end up crushing the feelings and desires of the other person. Our first response may be “I did not mean to, it was just…” Parents commit this fault to their children and vice versa. Sometimes we do not know whether or not we have hurt the feelings of a loved one, especially a parent or child.
What is involved?
Parents do not enjoy punishing their children neither do their children enjoy receiving the punishment. There are two factors involved in the relationship between a parent and a child. Those two factors are 1) Authority and 2) Submission! Parents and children should understand that there can not be two heads in the family. It has to be one head, which is the parent, and one submission, which is the child. The perfect example that shows us submission to authority is Jesus Christ. God sent Jesus to do the impossible which was dying for our sins. Jesus did not want to do this because He knew he would die. He did not want to die; however, he recognized his position as God’s Son and recognized God’s position as His Father. His words were “nevertheless not as I will, but as you will. When Jesus spoke these words, He explicitly told His Father, to paraphrase, that he recognized he must be obedient [submissive] to the His will. This same mentality is what children should obtain through their relationships with their parents. Not all children come to this realization early. Therefore, it is imperative that parents teach their children by practicing those same principles themselves. One might say, “Well, how do I do that?” Parents can show the example of submission by submitting to those who are in authority to them such as their parents, supervisors, group leaders, etc. This is the only way a child will understand and practice such honor to parents. As a result, children will then be able to practice submission to any other person, outside of home, who may be in authority to them such as their teachers.
When? The origin of the problem
Some times it is hard to deal with an issue when the mess keeps coming up to the surface. Some people try to hide it while others get to the root of it all! We should know that man is not perfect; however, this excuse does not prevent us from practicing good relationships. Parents should never be afraid to ask their children if there is anything wrong with the relationship. Children should never be afraid to confront their parents to express how they [children] may feel about how their parents are treating them. Parents and children should not argue because even though, it is about who is the authority, the conversation is about feelings and emotions. As a result, children should talk with their parents instead of burying the hurt or upset feelings they may have. It can only get worse if negative feelings begin to eat at the spiritual heart. Parents, listen to your children, even if you know you are right. Why? For the reason that a parent should want a solid relationship with their children whereas they [children] will respect and honor the authority which is the parent. Children may feel like their parent is being too protective or strict but in actuality, parents are here for a reason. Parents have gone through things that their children may or may not go through. It is up to the parent to prevent their child from enduring any hardships in life if they [parent] has already gone through it. Children should understand that no matter the situation, there is always a lesson to learn whether it is obedience, patience, faith, submission, etc.
How? “Cleaning the Slate”
So now, parents and children have sat down and talked about their issues. The question becomes “Okay, so now what do we do?” The answer. Forgive each other and start a brand new relationship. Forgiving is an action that takes constant practice becomes sometimes people do the most cruel things to each other. As a result, forgiveness is, in our minds, hard to show. However, do not let it become a hard thing to do. It is very simple. Parents and children should engraft each other in their lives. Parents and children should show love to each other, even if it is a hug or making a nice big breakfast. Parents and children will begin to see a different and new love in their relationship.
I am currently a high school senior looking to major in Fashion Design. However, my true passion is spreading the word of Jesus Christ to the world! I thank God for giving me opportunities to minister and witness to those around me. My blog website is